The Sexual Freedom Program
helps heterosexual men & women resolve their PsychoSexual difficulties, without having to share their entire sexual history
with a therapist.
The term 'Psychosexual' simply means sexual matters related to the mind
I work competently and effectively with:
Erectile Dysfunction
Sexual Aversion Disorder
Dyspareunia (pain on intercourse)
Secondary Sexual Dysfunction
Hypoactive Desire Disorder (frigidity)
Incompatibility issues
Sexual ignorance
Loss of Libido
Loss of Sexual Drive
HOW I WORK WITH CLIENTS
3 Options:
1) I typically work with clients for 4 sessions about one week apart. Sessions are about 1.5 - 2 hours long.
2) A single 2 - 2.5 hour session.
THE INTAKE ASSESSMENT SESSION
It is SUGGESTED THAT the client FIRST seeks a medical doctors go ahead and or clearance to undergo psychosexual therapy BEFORE THERAPY BEGINS.
During an intake assessment session the client can expect to:
1) Gain clarity about the actual problem and desired outcome when the problem has been resolved.
2) Discover underlying emotions and feelings. Many times clients are unaware of exactly what they want. Most times clients only know that they want o feel or better. However they are unsure of what that actually will be.
3) Discover if there are any OTHER issues that need to be resolved FIRST
4) Identify what is stopping the client from resolving the issue on their own. Sometimes it is lack of knowledge, confidence or knowing which questions to ask.
5) Decide if hypnotherapy is the right method for themselves.
6) Leave the session with the experience of at least ONE technique that will help them feel uplifted or at the very least, with a sense of contentment.
OPTIONS TO WORK TOGETHER
Clients can choose from one longer in-depth single session or a package of 4 sessions.
BASIC PROGRAM STRUCTURE
Step One: Teach and educate. Education and explanation can go a long way in helping the conscious mind
Step Two: Release guilt, shame, rejection and any other unwanted negative emotions preventing you from overcoming your issue. My techniques does not require you to talk excessively about your issue.
Step Three: Address past negative experiences such as trauma, memories, anger, hurts with hypnotherapy
Step Four: Learn what “normal” sexual function is. Sometimes we just need to know we are normal.
Step Five: Release the blocks to effective communication and connection. Learn how to communicate your needs, wants and desires.
Step Six: Give yourself permission to enjoy and acceptance your body and sexuality.
ONLINE SUPPORT INCLUDES:
Self Hypnosis Audio Recordings
Video demonstration techniques to change from a negative state into a positive state.
Helpful Handouts
In this program you will:
Use neuroscience to help you overcome your sexual dysfunction and you will:"
Learn how your mind works and creates its Subconscious Programs
Release the negative charged emotions such as Shame, Guilt, Embarrassment
Release recurring memories blocking you from expressing yourself
Identify & release limiting beliefs contributing to sexual dysfunction issues
Clear past relationship hurts such as abandonment, betrayal & a broken heart.
Address Trauma
Gain clarity about what you want
Learn creative ways to ask for what you want
Gain sexual confidence
Learn how to set boundaries and enforce them
Take control over your automatic thoughts
Overcome destructive behaviours, thoughts and actions.
Give yourself permission to enjoy your sexuality
ARTICLES ON SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION
SEXUAL INTIMACY
Intimacy involves feelings of emotional closeness and connectedness with another person.
There are four types of intimacy: emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical.
Intimacy usually means mutual vulnerability, openness, and sharing. It is often present in close, loving relationships such as marriages and friendships. The term is also sometimes used to refer to sexual interactions, but intimacy does not have to be sexual
The Five Levels of Intimacy
Psychologists have identified 5 levels of emotional intimacy we all move through as we get to know someone.
Level One: Safe Communication
Level one is the lowest level of communication. We call it safe because it involves the exchange of facts and information. There are no feelings, opinions or personal vulnerability involved, and therefore no risk of rejection.
This is the kind of interaction we have with people we don’t know well such as the grocery store clerk who we chitchat with. People communicating at this level share minimal intimacy.
Level Two: Sharing Others’ Opinions and Beliefs
At level two we start sharing other people’s thoughts, beliefs and opinions. We say things like, “My friends say…” or “One of my favorite actors said…” Such statements test the other person’s reaction to what we’re sharing without offering our own opinions.
This is slightly more vulnerable than level one, but because we’re not sharing our own opinions we can distance ourselves from the opinion, in case we feel threatened by criticism or rejection.
Level Three: Personal Opinions and Beliefs
We start taking small risks at this level because we begin to share our own thoughts, opinions and beliefs. But like the level one and level two, if we begin feeling too vulnerable, we can switch our opinions or change our mind in order to avoid conflict or pain.
Level Four: My Feelings and Experiences
Sharing feelings and experiences is the next level of vulnerability and intimacy. At this level we talk about our joys, pain, and failures; our mistakes in the past, our dreams, and our goals.
This level is more vulnerable because we are sharing our feelings, details of our past or current experiences/situations.
If we sense that we may be rejected or criticized, all we can do is try to convince others that we’re no longer impacted by our past.
Level Five: My Needs, Emotions and Desires
Level five is the highest level of intimacy. It is the level that requires the greatest amount of trust. If I can’t trust that you won’t reject me, I’ll never be able to share my true self with you.
Unlike the other levels, there is no escape at this level. You believe that once you let someone see who you really are, once you let them know how you really feel, then you can no longer convince them otherwise.
Communicating at this level means we offer someone the most vulnerable part of ourselves. Our greatest fear is that someone could use that against us later.
When we share things like, “I’m hurt when you don’t spend time with me,” I don’t feel any desire for sex” “I am having a problem getting an erection” or “I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you” we’re sharing not only our hurts, worries, fears but also our desires and needs.
This is the level where we let others see our emotional reaction to things.
True Intimacy
It’s important to understand that true intimacy in a relationship happens over time…not in a day, week or even a month. Think of your best friend…how long did it take before you felt at the highest level of intimacy with them, where you were able to trust them completely, or share your deepest self?
It’s the same in romantic relationships…true intimacy develops over time.
But another important element is needed for true intimacy…both people in the relationship need to move through the levels together.
If I’m sharing at level four with someone (feelings and experiences) but my partner is sharing at level three (opinions and beliefs) we’re not experiencing true intimacy.
I may feel closer because I’m sharing at a higher level, but in reality what we have is a false sense of intimacy.
In truth, intimacy is measured by the person with the lower level of vulnerability.
Sex…A False Sense of Intimacy
When you look at the five levels, I’m sure you’d agree that the fifth or highest level is the healthiest, safest and most intimate place to have sex.
When we feel loved unconditionally, and have the highest level of trust, we’ll be able to give ourselves completely to each other, increasing intimacy and the enjoyment of sex.
We can have sex at the other levels, but without that same level of trust the vulnerability of sex may be associated with anxiety, fear and distrust.
As I’ve led women through healing, I’ve discovered that they have the hardest time with sex if they’re not at this highest level with their partner, and if they’ve been wounded by sex with others in lower levels of intimacy, whether through abuse or their own choices.
During sexual arousal and release men and women release an amazing hormone called oxytocin. Scientists call oxytocin the hormone of love, the superglue that creates strong relational bonds.
Releasing Oxytocin increases trust in a relationship, bonds people together, and causes intimacy. Oxytocin is also released in women when they give birth and when they breast feed their babies.
When we have sex with someone before we have established a level 5 intimacy, we are creating a false sense of intimacy in our relationship. The sex makes us feel closer than we really are.
Emotional intimacy can get stalled at the level where we start having sex.
Emotional intimacy REQUIRES being able to risk conflict in order to move to the next level.
Handling conflict in a healthy and safe way without being rejected is what allows us to build the trust needed to communicate at higher, more vulnerable levels.
But now that you are having sex, you feel close, and you won’t want to risk losing this person.
And so although we may occasionally move to higher levels, we’ll continue to fall back into that safe zone to communicate.
We may sense that there’s something missing, but then with sex, we’ll feel that surge of closeness again, making us feel all is well.
WHAT IS SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION?
Sexual dysfunction (or sexual malfunction or sexual disorder) is difficulty experienced by an individual or a couple during any stage of sexual activity, including physical pleasure, desire, preference, arousal or orgasm.
Sexual issues can occur at any time in a persons’ life, can be caused by many things and can cause a great deal of heart ache and frustration.
IS IT NORMAL TO EXPERIENCE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION?
Many people find talking about their sexual issues embarrassing but research shows that 40 percent of women and 30 percent of men report some degree of difficulty when it comes to sex, intimacy and or libido. Yes, it is normal to experience sexual dysfunction from time to time in your life, but it doesn’t have to stay a part of your life.
BUT FIRST
It is important that you first consult with your doctor to rule out any underlying medical cause for sexual dysfunctions. If the cause is deemed to be psychological then it is extremely likely my program can help you and your issues. The first session a long session, we need to go through an detailed intake process and still have time to do some Hypnotherapy. Expect your first session to be between 90 - 120 minutes.
WHAT ARE THE CLASSIFICATIONS OF SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION?
Sexual dysfunction generally is classified into four main categories
1) Desire disorders - lack of sexual desire or interest in sex
2) Arousal disorder - inability to become physically aroused or excited during sexual activity
3) Orgasm disorder - delay or absence of orgasm (climax) or premature ejaculation
4) Pain disorders - pain during intercourse
WHAT ARE THE SYMPTOMS OF SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION FOR MEN?
In men symptoms can include:
Inability to achieve or maintain an erection (erectile dysfunction)
Absent or delayed ejaculation despite sexual stimulation (retarded ejaculation)
Inability to control the timing of ejaculation (early or premature ejaculation)
Desensitized to their own sensuality and or body.
WHAT ARE THE SYMPTOMS OF SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION FOR WOMEN?
In women symptoms can include:
Inability to achieve orgasm (Anorgasmia)
Inadequate vaginal lubrication before and during intercourse
Inability to relax the vaginal muscles enough to allow intercourse (Vaginismus)
WHAT ARE THE SYMPTOMS OF SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION IN MEN AND WOMEN?
Symptoms seen in men and women:
Lack of interest in or desire for sex
Inability to become aroused
Pain with intercourse
Physical Causes
Many physical conditions can cause problems with sexual function. These conditions include:
Diabetes
Heart and vascular disease
Neurological disorders
Hormonal imbalances
Chronic diseases such as:
Kidney or liver failure
Alcoholism
Drug abuse
Some medications, including some antidepressant drugs and blood pressure medications, can affect sexual function. Sexual Dysfunction can also be the result of surgery, physical trauma, dopamine desensitization and past abuse. Please have your doctor check for diabetes, testosterone deficiency, cardiovascular disease and or thyroid issues.
Psychological Causes
Work-related stress
Anxiety
Sexual performance concerns
Marital or relationship problems
Depression
Feelings of guilt, shame, rejection, abandonment
Feeling of not being good enough
Concerns about body image
Unresolved sexual trauma
Mixed emotions about who you are attracted to
Poor self image
Confidence Issues
NOT feeling NORMAL (do you know what normal is?)
Feeling pressured to preform
Partner wants a baby but YOU don’t
You want a baby but YOUR partner doesn’t